New Year’s Resolution?

I was never the type to have a NYR due to the fact that I am a person who has no idea what to do in this life, unfortunately. Did not find my goal / purpose yet.

These last few days I considered making some goals and try as much as possible to stick to them. So here they are:

  1. No more fake friends – I am tired of being the only one to look for them and them be there only when they need me. I deserve some respect too.
  2. Take care of myself more
  3. Meditate more (as long as time permits me)
  4. Get a new DECENT job – basically one where you feel less like in a prison
  5. Get my first ever MacBook (air 2018) ❤ – this goal I intend to keep. Wish me luck!
  6. Get an electric scooter
  7. Learn more Tarot

I really hope I manage to achieve these goals. I know it is a lot, but I am sure some can easily be achieved as long as I want to 🙂

Happy New Year, guys. Hope next year brings more of what you need most!

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Letting People Go

In life, you often befriend people that may or may not be good to you or for you. At first, it takes a while until we learn that and, by the time we do learn the harm they do, it is a bit too late as we become attached.

Letting them go is the key, no matter how hard it is.

Friends will come and go, remember that. You will never be alone unless you choose to be. All that it matters is that you stay strong to heartbreaks, even if it is due to friends who do not give a damn about you. Just..let them go 🙂

That is what I am doing because no one deserves my attention if their intend is bad or if they do not give a damn back. And I am ok with that.

How do you deal with fake friends?

Dealing with problems

Now, do not get me wrong. I am in no way an expert at life, but I know I have dealt with stuff and learned a few “tricks” What I am, however, certain of, is that alcohol and drugs are not the answer to a problem.

No one is saying that drinking is bad in general, but as long as it has a limit, that should be fine. Otherwise, don’t! Why? Because those around you might get to suffer the consequence of the action that come after you are drunk. When you are drunk or on drugs, it is easy to do whatever, as you have no control over the actions. And that is wrong. No one is requesting you to act all perfect all the time, but no one is obliged to see you destroy your life, either.

Bringing more issues into your life instead of solving the ones you have, will definitely not get you very far in life. Nor will it bring you happiness.

Yes, it definitely feels awesome to let it all go and screw everything and just have fun. But how about next day? How about the day after next day? Will you feel the same? Will you be ok mentally? Will it all be worth it?

All actions have consequences and some of them have the tendency to “infest” people. And they go do the same and they “infest” others around them. And so on. It is a vicious circle.

All you need to now is that you are not alone in all of this. Even if you have no one around you, you will still have yourself. Because you matter. You are the change in this world. Not your neighbor, not your parents, not your friends….you. It all starts witch each of us.

WE are the change WE need.

YDGAF

What do you do when, you ex bff whom you reconciled with after many years of her not giving a f**k about you and to whom you decided to make amends, invites you to go to the movies – idea to which you say yes and wait for her to say when as she is busy with her job – and bails on you with the date, you then call her, state another week rather than the one you were supposed to actually go out on, then she bails again? Do you still try? Do you still care enough for trying?

I know this may be childish and stupid, and that I should call to see what is going on, but I am a bit tired of always being the one trying. Am I really not worth being tried for? 

I have known her since high school. The only reason I befriended her is because she looked like a famous actress from a very famous TV Show, later on starting to like her personality. Little did I know I was about to get in an emotional adventure.

Not only that she has her head in the clouds, but she says one thing after another, not sticking to any of it.

Our “break” started after she bailed on me when I mostly needed her. The rest of the bails I could easily get over, but this one stuck with me, especially as I was being beyond depressed and basically, in an emotional ditch. 

I had just gotten dumped by my boyfriend at the time, and I really needed her. So, not having anyone else to vent to, I called her as we were always going out and talking. She said yes. I told her a time and such ( it was happening the next day) and then, on my way to downtown ( and I live one hour and a half away from the main town) I call her eager to meet her and there it was….” I am on my way outside town with my parents, going to visit my grandma. Sorry, I forgot we were meeting”   …  Like….wow….just….That was my reaction. First time I was ever in this shock. And again, it may seem stupid, but to me she was all I had left in terms of people to talk to.

I said ok and hung up. And that was it. I went to eat something alone and then went home pretending nothing happened. But I never spoke to her since. Until few months ago. I thought I grew a bit more, I have a beyond loving boyfriend now and I wanted to act mature and be the one to make the first step. So I did. It felt good. It really did! So we talked, we went out and it was good. But she was still doing the “head in the clouds” thing, still stating one thing and then doing the opposite, even my boyfriend noticed, which means that I am not crazy.

And maybe it was a meaningless issue and I took it too personal or in a bad way…But if you were me at the time, you would have understood the pain. And having no friends does not help. May be my fault, may it not be, but these things, no matter how small, they do hurt. 

So I am done trying. I tried to please people my whole life. And I received no gratitude back. That is all I needed. Someone to look for me and not wait for me to look for them. Someone to call me and see how I was doing and not wait for me to be the one to make that step. I just wish people were more considerate. I am more than aware that the world does not revolve around me, but I wish, just for once, I was being sought for. It would have been nice 

What have I been up to while away from here

Hi reader,

 

I do not write as much anymore as most people either follow to make their blog known, or do not read at all nor follow.

I had to edit this as I no longer want to do book reviews, since I find it hard to motivate myself to read. Not sure why. Been struggling a ton lately. Been hard to motivate myself to do pretty much anything. However, these past few days, I cooked. And it felt awesome and relieving. Might do more of that these days.

All in all, took a job break in September, which is pretty much almost done. Need to find a new job next year. Wish me luck 🙂

See you next time, reader.

Blogs

Hi reader,

I am wondering if it is worth having a personal blog in 2018….I mean…some people like it so you may like it back, but not too many read the content. Some people like it for commercial and some not at all.

I am not entirely sure I will ever find a blog community that is there for the blogs and not advertising and gains. But I will keep my hopes up.

 

Why do you have a blog?

2018 Goals?

Hi there reader,

I just thought I would sit down and type away my thoughts on what will 2018 bring for me.

Well, I have no idea. No one does really…. We set goals and, even though we succeed in doing some, we might not with others and issues and other goals interfere with our own goals. Not sure if it makes sense, but you got the point.

If you are a perfectionist then you probably will find a way to achieve all your goals. Me on the other hand….I can barely organize myself.

So I decided to stick with only 4 things this year:

  • Read more
  • Write and focus on one of my stories that I have been having in mind for quite some time
  • (Try to) eat healthier
  • Play World of Warcraft and try to finish all achievements 😀

Now, I have other goals in mind such as finish The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones but…… I am not sure how much those will happen.

At least one thing will happen: get a new phone 😀

I currently have an i6 and, even thought I still love it, it is time it goes since it became very, very laggy. S8 Plus here I come!

But all in their time.

What goes would you have for this year? Will you achieve them? Let me know if you have a pattern or order in which you achieve them.

The type of person that I am aka Copycat

Hi there reader,

I was looking into some YouTube videos, and I was thinking:

” Man, I am such a copy cat”

Why, you ask?

Well….I for one have never been the type to do my own thing (except reading and writing a bit)

I have always seen other girls do things like writing or having a certain product or writing in a certain way. I even copied my teacher’s writing style in high school – #creeper.

Now, the fact that I stole my writing style was a good thing. I had SUCH an awful writing before that.  I thanked my teacher then, no worries. She just found it amusing, thankfully.

But I tend to copy hobbies. Now, do not get me wrong. I have my own: reading, gaming and make-up.

But there are some things like buying agendas so you can have a planner but there is nothing to plan in your life as your life is very boring. I just want some things to belong to me, to be personal and not feel copied.

I even copied make-up, but that is a good thing since I perfected it a bit and am having fun with it.

I am even aiming at getting a MacBook Pro just because I love its design and how it looks in Instagram and Pinterest pictures.

I hope you get the idea. I am just a tiny copycat trying to find its own thing, its own, personal daily hobby / activity.

I just do not wish to live through others’ ideas and pleasures. I just hope that I find my own one day as this slows me in life and as a person.

I will always stick to make-up and reading. Let’s just hope I find a use for writing as well as I have SO many ideas, but I never finish them.

 

What is your favorite thing to do on a daily basis and what defines you as a person?

Burgers, Burgers or how I manage to eat tomatoes.

Hi there reader,

 

That is right! I managed to find a way to eat tomatoes !!  “What do you mean manage to eat? Don’t you eat tomatoes like everyone else?”   Nope. I do not. Plus, there are plenty of people like me out there.

I have gone out with my love to eat some burgers and decided to leave the tomato on. Somehow, when I am craving for a burger, I am no longer aware of the tomato. As long as I do not feel the texture, then I am ok with it.

Unfortunately, at the end when I could barely eat anymore, I started to feel the tomato and felt kind of sick. But did not vomit, which is good.

 

These were the burgers we had. They look amazing, don’t they? Rest assured, they tasted better than they looked <3.

It was a fun day out and a thrive for me, for being able to eat that darn tomato.

I’ll try again in the future. As long as I do not feel the texture, I should be fine.

Until next time, reader!

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